Time Travel Saga

Two hours sleep last night. The usual Anne-Marie nightmares warped into a time travel saga where I was able to project into the past to try and save our relationship. I’m not sure whether it became a nightmare at the point where I realised that it was pointless because I hadn’t travelled back enough years to point where AM still loved me or at the point it became lucid and I was stuck watching reruns of the pain we put each over through.

I woke up just after 2am. I didn’t get back to sleep. This left me coping with the day on a less than solid basis. I managed to visit my grandparents, but in retrospect, this may have been a bad move. They could see how ill I was. When they are fading before my eyes, I hate the idea that they worry about me. They had to bury my father and I can see that they now fear outliving me.

The physical pain and the haunting of my heart have combined with overtiredness to make this look like another night of hollow, lonely hours where the comfort of oblivion is elusive.