Laughing on the Lisburn Road

So weird to write entry for book today and write about Belfast. So strange to have to refer to AM in the entry as ‘an ex-partner’. It broke my heart. All the memories of us laughing on the Lisburn Road, all the memories of walking by Connolly House. All the pain of losing her. Crushing. All the time I just feel my heart is being crushed.

I am so close to just giving up on this book. Taking Stephen’s advice to just say: ‘Fuck the book.’ He is right. It is killing me. Yet at the same time, if I hadn’t been doing it I don’t know if I could have survived all the hurt and hell I’ve already through. With so much more pain ahead, I just don't know what to do.