My Ugly Mug
The publisher who is putting out the German edition of Global Gangland has been making demands today. German publishers it appears need pictures of the author to use for publicity purposes, they require in-depth biographies and they expect full co-operation on promoting the book.
I on the other hand do not think pictures of my ugly mug will sell books and nor will anyone be interested in reading 1,000 words of my life history. As for me touring the minor publicity backwaters of Deutschland TV and radio … Given my skill at speaking the Germanic language is on the par with JFK who once went to West Berlin and proclaimed: ‘I am a doughnut,’ the idea is close to pointless.
As far as I am concerned, my contractual obligations regarding promotion of Global Gangland ended the moment my publisher in the UK (who is licensing the rights worldwide) cocked up in such a fashion as to lead the head of the Albanian Mafiya in the UK to express a strong desire to ‘put bullets down my throat’.
It is probably best that I sleep on my email response to the demands. Anything I sent at the moment would be short and make heavy use of expletives.
I on the other hand do not think pictures of my ugly mug will sell books and nor will anyone be interested in reading 1,000 words of my life history. As for me touring the minor publicity backwaters of Deutschland TV and radio … Given my skill at speaking the Germanic language is on the par with JFK who once went to West Berlin and proclaimed: ‘I am a doughnut,’ the idea is close to pointless.
As far as I am concerned, my contractual obligations regarding promotion of Global Gangland ended the moment my publisher in the UK (who is licensing the rights worldwide) cocked up in such a fashion as to lead the head of the Albanian Mafiya in the UK to express a strong desire to ‘put bullets down my throat’.
It is probably best that I sleep on my email response to the demands. Anything I sent at the moment would be short and make heavy use of expletives.
posted by David at
9:47 PM
8 Comments:
After your eloquent dealing/response to Charlotte this should be easy... shouldn't it??Perhaps not.
David-ah, you share the same philosophy as Tom...his motto is "never act on a..." you fill in the blank, i.e., high, low, fit, etc. Good for you to sleep on it. I think yer mug is far from ugly and your bio is interesting,but that is beside the point...you gotta figure out what works for you. ANd i love how you do it with humor! Do tell what approach you chose...
My favourite short and expletive-heavy message is "fuck you, you fuck!"
Short, to the point, and palindromic!
perhaps you could speak English, but with a German Accent whilst on the publicity stint in Deutschland?
I know it sounds pointless, but I'm one of those readers that likes to know a little bit about the author, including what they look like. Maybe I'm part German.
Just my opinion friend... I do want to see your picture, your mug is not ugly and I am interested to read the bios of the authors I like to read. I can officially reply as a "fan" as I have read Secrets and Lies and expect to read all of the others as well!! S agrees with me too, by the way.
I tried to post this yesterday but couldn't.
Personally, i could give a shit what an author has done or what they look like.
Additionally, what can they do to you if you say NO? Steal your lunch money?
Judging by the crowd’s enthusiastic response to JFK’s infamous one-liner, you could do worse than describe yourself as a pastry. Perhaps your neighbors to the east would be more than happy to welcome a visiting bratwurst into their country. Just a suggestion.
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