Negative Inducing Ray
Buying slippers makes you feel old. Even buying not-very-old-man-style Muji slippers is a brush with Methuselah. However, now that I find myself waking up to all-wood floors on cold mornings, I had to add slippers to today’s shopping list.
As retail was on the agenda, I accompanied Surreal Girl to Portobello Market. It was the first time I had been there since at least 1996. This explains why I was so shocked to find it practically unchanged compared to my eroded memory of it. Jazz still blared from rare vinyl stalls to find itself in constant competition with the wheezing vodon rhythms of a busking drummer who had not seemed position in a decade. Side streets were filled with junk poured onto blankets that you expected to see swept up by street cleaners rather than bought and the number of people around aping on the look of Noel Gallagher remained alarmingly high.
Having bought bargain priced vegetables and assorted goodies from the rather fabulous Spanish shop (including white asparagus, smoked paprika and biscuits), we tried to navigate our way out of the area to catch a 3:30 showing of The History Boys in another part of town. This was no easy task. The weight of the crowds with their constant bump and grind began to take a toll on my ribs. Suddenly the recently purchased window squeegee I was carrying became a Dalek gun. Much to the mortification of my companion, I began to mutter ‘Exterminate’ and point my negative inducing ray in the direction of anyone impolite enough to knock into me without apologising. Proof that even if buying slippers makes me old, I can still be positively childlike.
As retail was on the agenda, I accompanied Surreal Girl to Portobello Market. It was the first time I had been there since at least 1996. This explains why I was so shocked to find it practically unchanged compared to my eroded memory of it. Jazz still blared from rare vinyl stalls to find itself in constant competition with the wheezing vodon rhythms of a busking drummer who had not seemed position in a decade. Side streets were filled with junk poured onto blankets that you expected to see swept up by street cleaners rather than bought and the number of people around aping on the look of Noel Gallagher remained alarmingly high.
Having bought bargain priced vegetables and assorted goodies from the rather fabulous Spanish shop (including white asparagus, smoked paprika and biscuits), we tried to navigate our way out of the area to catch a 3:30 showing of The History Boys in another part of town. This was no easy task. The weight of the crowds with their constant bump and grind began to take a toll on my ribs. Suddenly the recently purchased window squeegee I was carrying became a Dalek gun. Much to the mortification of my companion, I began to mutter ‘Exterminate’ and point my negative inducing ray in the direction of anyone impolite enough to knock into me without apologising. Proof that even if buying slippers makes me old, I can still be positively childlike.
Labels: Portobello
9 Comments:
The fact that "Exterminate" was your utterance of choice, David, makes me love you even more. Cracked hubby up too. He feels like an old man in his slippers too, I think they are endearing.
We have junk bazaars that are appropriately called “flea markets” in this part of the world. They are typically laid out neatly but are inevitably stocked with old shoes, rusted pans, stained clothing, and broken tools. I have a hard time passing by these organized garbage dumps without dropping in to reconnoiter the place for overlooked treasure. My greatest find of all time was a plaster Jesus head complete with thorny crown, glued on eyelashes and a small electric bulb mounted in the base that cast an eerie shadow across a tormented face. I made the mistake of including it in a garage sale several years ago. I thought the one million dollars price tag would deter prospective purchasers. Jilly sold it to a kid for 25 cents.
Wonderful! Never forget how to play, David.
Sheesh. SOunds claustrophobic! Hope you made it to the movie and had some more fun.
See i have slipper sock and they are way koolR, mine have freaky toes in...haha
I love all the sounds and smells of the market, aint been there for like ages though.
GGRRR i just lost that dam comment i made...okies
As i was just saying before my comment was eaten...I have slipper socks and they are way koolR because they have freaky toes in them.
I remember the first time i bought old man slippers. It made me feel so old, but then i kinda grew to like them! Now i buy a pair every year. Does the slipper make the man or the man make the slipper?
I frequently mock my husband for his old man slippers. I, on the other hand, have a lovely selection of fuzzy, stylish, house footwear. Niki needs to address this problem for you men.
Old shmold! I've been wearing slippers for a long time now. It's all in the way you choose to view things and accessorize. Add a smoking jacket to the slippers and you're dapper, handsome and distinguished.
Personally, I add a cute little neglige to my white slippers and I'm simply cute and adorable.
Flea markets are fun. We bought some more chickens at the last flea market we went to.
I almost forgot...
If you're ever in a crowd and feel like having fun, just walk up to a random stranger and start off with something like, "WOW! How have you BEEN?"..."I really am on a time table, but I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your help. I was in dire straights and you took the time to help and it meant the world to me. Thanks again!" Then take off really fast. I just LOVE the totally perplexed looks...
Plus it's funny how many people will go along with it and pretend that they know exactly what you're talking about.
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