Bigger than David Blunkett
There are few occasions when I can feel satisfied with my book sales and gloat over my performance in comparison with ‘personality’ authors who have been paid massive six-figure advances, receive huge serialisation fees from national newspapers and are ‘book of the week’ on BBC Radio 4 such as former Home Secretary David Blunkett. However, this is one of those times.
Blunkett’s biography The Blunkett Tapes: My life InThe Bear Pit was published by Bloomsbury last month, serialised in The Guardian, hyped on Radio 4 and turned into a two-part Dispatches documentary on Channel 4. So far his book has sold a grand total of 1,196 copies, significantly less than Global Gangland has managed to sell in an equivalent period with no publicity. Looked at it in terms of sales figures, it is official, I am bigger than David Blunkett.
Of course I am jealous that no publisher is paying me almost £1 million to write the story of my life, but I am feeling somewhat pleased that the sale figures for Global Gangland urinate from a great height on those of the tome produced the mendacious, liberty attacking ex-Minister. Global Gangland is also a more accurate work on criminality than the one produced by a man who was once responsible for the United Kingdom’s police and prison services. For a start, I have avoided making the glaring omissions of fact and failures of memory which pepper The Blunkett Tapes.
In case anyone thinks I am being overly harsh, I would point out that amongst Blunkett’s book blunders is one neglecting to mention he told a prison governor dealing with a riot to: ‘Call in the Army and machine-gun the prisoners’, remembering instead only that the governor ‘dithered’. If you cannot even recall suggesting people be shot, you really should not be putting pen to paper.
Blunkett’s biography The Blunkett Tapes: My life InThe Bear Pit was published by Bloomsbury last month, serialised in The Guardian, hyped on Radio 4 and turned into a two-part Dispatches documentary on Channel 4. So far his book has sold a grand total of 1,196 copies, significantly less than Global Gangland has managed to sell in an equivalent period with no publicity. Looked at it in terms of sales figures, it is official, I am bigger than David Blunkett.
Of course I am jealous that no publisher is paying me almost £1 million to write the story of my life, but I am feeling somewhat pleased that the sale figures for Global Gangland urinate from a great height on those of the tome produced the mendacious, liberty attacking ex-Minister. Global Gangland is also a more accurate work on criminality than the one produced by a man who was once responsible for the United Kingdom’s police and prison services. For a start, I have avoided making the glaring omissions of fact and failures of memory which pepper The Blunkett Tapes.
In case anyone thinks I am being overly harsh, I would point out that amongst Blunkett’s book blunders is one neglecting to mention he told a prison governor dealing with a riot to: ‘Call in the Army and machine-gun the prisoners’, remembering instead only that the governor ‘dithered’. If you cannot even recall suggesting people be shot, you really should not be putting pen to paper.
posted by David at 12:01 PM
6 Comments:
So in the battle of the David's you win hands down, eh ... well I would have had good money on that being the result, if there was anyone stupid enough to take that particular bet !!!
If Paid £1million would you write your life story and would it be as good as a read as your blog?
If I was being paid to write my life story it would be an even better read than the blog. There would be more sex for a start...
I would settle for a cool $150 for my memoirs, preferably either small unmarked bills or the equivalent in potter’s clay.
Go YOU! That's awesome David, and I hope infinitely satisfying. Although, I know $1 million would be nice. (sorry, no pound sign on my damn US keyboard, that always annoys me.)
Slag you are underselling yourself. A publisher would probably want at least 70,000 words. Even if you are hack and fairly fast, you will struggle to do more than 1,000 words per day. Trust me, you need to hold out for a lot more clay. When that mega-clay day happens, just offer remember I offer a great ‘autobiography’ ghost writing service.
Chandira – thank you. It is satisfying to outsell a Home Secretary who has done so much to erode civil liberties. As for the £1 million… it would be nice if only because then I could almost afford to live in the genteel London I am starting to love. However, if my writing were only about money, I would be the author of some very different titles.
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