The Fame Meme
Long ago – certainly before I hit 22 – I lost the desire to be famous. This may have something to do with my narrowly failed attempt to become the sidekick to Nobby The Sheep on a TV show called Ghost Train. Just as many alcoholics have a moment of cold moment of sober realisation allowing them to realise the destructive arc of their addiction, being down to the last few candidates hoping to be partnered with a rubber ram sporting a green mohican and a BLJ, I understood just how fucked up the fame meme is. Even though I told myself that I wanted to be known so that I could further my own creative projects, I had been possessed by the idea that any level of public recognition equated to success. This is of course bollocks. Being the associate of TV puppet could only be defined as an achievement if your previous occupation was as career street drinker.
The ridiculous, adolescent need to be recognised eventually gave way to the equally ludicrous suggestion that I wanted to be known as good writer. The excuse I offered myself for such egotism was that being well-known would mean I could achieve a bigger readership. Of course, what I should have been concentrating on is just being an author, getting on with the business of trying to express information, stories, ideas or feelings with clarity and originality.
It was that realisation that played a big part in my decision to radically reduce the sort of meejah horing I did when my first book came out. When you find yourself hawking your wares on radio stations alongside the likes of Belinda Carlisle you know something is wrong. However to an agent it is only another sign of my: “Constant failure to be careerist.”
Due to the sometime strange trajectory of my life, I have been through periods where I could not enjoy a meal in a Soho curry house without someone asking if I was: “That bloke off of Sky News”. This is not a good thing and it certainly not a valuable measure of success. These days I would define success as writing each book a bit better than the last, communicating something worthwhile to an audience and paying the bills. I will be a meejah hor if I absolutely have to get a book out, but at least it will be done without a preposterous craving any shade of fame.
The ridiculous, adolescent need to be recognised eventually gave way to the equally ludicrous suggestion that I wanted to be known as good writer. The excuse I offered myself for such egotism was that being well-known would mean I could achieve a bigger readership. Of course, what I should have been concentrating on is just being an author, getting on with the business of trying to express information, stories, ideas or feelings with clarity and originality.
It was that realisation that played a big part in my decision to radically reduce the sort of meejah horing I did when my first book came out. When you find yourself hawking your wares on radio stations alongside the likes of Belinda Carlisle you know something is wrong. However to an agent it is only another sign of my: “Constant failure to be careerist.”
Due to the sometime strange trajectory of my life, I have been through periods where I could not enjoy a meal in a Soho curry house without someone asking if I was: “That bloke off of Sky News”. This is not a good thing and it certainly not a valuable measure of success. These days I would define success as writing each book a bit better than the last, communicating something worthwhile to an audience and paying the bills. I will be a meejah hor if I absolutely have to get a book out, but at least it will be done without a preposterous craving any shade of fame.
Labels: Fame, Meejah hor
posted by David at 11:56 AM
5 Comments:
Oh fuck that, David, I'd LOVE to be famous.. ;-)
I think my own warped desire is borne out of my sense of irony though. I'd love to famous for somethind totally effing BIZARRE. Of my own choosing, of course.
I think you're a great writer, you're one of the few bloggers that I will read a whole post from, even if it's more than 3 paragraphs.. :-)
You seem to be on to The Zen Thing, let go of the desire, and it will come to you, and by then you won't even care anyhow.
David, there is a saying by an ancient Chinese philosopher that begins "Greatness is a transitory experience...."
I would say the same thing about fame. Besides, there's different levels: fame by association all the way up to actual accomplishment. But fame just for itself is bullshit. I'd prefer riches to fame any day of the week. And i'd prefer happiness most above all.
Chandira – Thank you. I do not think anyone has called me a ‘great writer’ before.
CG – Yep, happiness. When someone asks you: “What do you want to be?” I think any other answer than “Happy” is probably the wrong one.
'Even though I told myself that I wanted to be known so that I could further my own creative projects, I had been possessed by the idea that any level of public recognition equated to success.'
Yeah I know - you are now reading your own words, but very apt description - nice blog btw - quests are grand especially when they lead off the map.
It's also known as beibg true to yourself.
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