It appears my current word rate as a ghost author is 10p a word. The previous sentence would have cost someone £1.40 if I had been ghosting for them. Of course I would be happy to offer a lower rate to any readers of English Dreaming, English Rain that want to employ my services as a hack/backroom spirit/wordsmith/writer of last resort (delete as applicable).
Today I earned tenpences for the word combinations ‘sexual lubricant’, ‘12-gauge shotgun’ and ‘up against the chalkboard’. Gruesome as this is, it still it beats the time I ghosted for George Best. Trust me, never work ghost for ex-child stars, egomaniacal television actors or alcoholic Irishmen – especially when you have to try to talk with an alcoholic Irishman first thing on a Monday morning for a 1pm newspaper column deadline.
6 comments:
you dont seem to have much luck with the irish
Those are two terrific sentences! (that just cost you 50p)
Hi David; I'm reading "Secrets and Lies" and have come upon the article about a gun that shoots 1 million bullets a minute. The speed seems extreme but then I started thinking about how heavy and large a gun would be to hold 1 million bullets, did I read this section to literally ? Thanks R
According to Mike ‘Angel of Death’ O’Dwyer the large, multi-barrelled gun he has in development is able to deliver a firing rate of one million bullets a minute. Its full specification remains classified. You need to remember that this particular gun by Metal Storm is intended as a piece of heavy field artillery. We are talking a weapon the size of a truck, intended to be able to melt through armour plating like a hot knife through butter. If you look on the Internet, you can find videos of some Metal Storm prototypes that will give you a very clear idea of what one of these weapons would look like and be capable of. The O’ Dwyer created handgun illustrated in Secrets & Lies has a scary rate of firepower, but obviously due to magazine size is nowhere a million bullets a minute. I have spoken with weapon experts who believe a Metal Storm rifle or handgun would be the perfect weapon for an assassin. It would certainly eliminate the need for magic bullet theories.
BTW, if you have a query about material in one of my books, email me direct rather than commenting anonymously on my blog as I have an irrational dislike of anonymous posts that are not related to the posts they end up linked to. If you want to protect you identity when emailing me, use a remailer combined with a one-time box. I tend to answer all questions from readers – even those who madly accuse me of being a war criminal or working for Department 13.
Word slut. There's two for you, and you could put in on your resume.
There you go everyone, according to my former co-author, I am a ‘word slut’. It is certainly a word combination I will not be able to forget in hurry and more than worth twenty pence.
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