It is my understanding that the French do not say ‘I am sad’, but rather ‘A sadness is upon me’. The French have it right. Currently there is sadness upon me. I know it is only multiple clouds of small sorrow combining to feel like a severely bruised sky above, but there is no use denying the weather.
Part of the sadness is due to current gravitational pull of Essex. Tomorrow I have to go back to resolve a raft of Nanna related problems. The prospect of days spent battling with bureaucracy and desperately juggling the finances is fine. Knowing my nights will be spent sleeping on the floor of the council flat my grandparents lived in for 38 years is a black dog growl. A place once filled with the animating love of a couple who had been married for 73 years is now just a claustrophobic concrete shell. After the recent break-in at the place by people looking for me, I have additional reasons to feel uncomfortable.
9 comments:
People broke in looking for you? That's freaky scary.
Best of luck on your sojourn. Don't know how you can view it any other way except sadly.
Hope all the red tape and chores that go with your nana's situation go better than expected.. As for the sadness upon you and the bruised sky It wont rain all the time, the skies wont fall forever
That sounds utterly horrible, my friend. I'll be sending all the light and goodness I can muster in your general direction. If there's anything I can do, as always, then just yell.
T.
I hope things improve greatly.
I wish you much strength as you work through this time with your Nanna. I hope the clouds lift from time to time to remind you of your strength and that this is definitely something you can do, well.
"Above the weather there is always the Sun." So says Adi Da, so I loved your way of putting that. Not that the sadness isn't there, but that there is something beyond it, always.
Thinking of you and Nanna, and praying you can find a graceful happy solution.
And hey, I need a phone number.. I'll send you my alt email address for when I'm travelling, too.
Take care. The only way through is through and sometimes these gusts of ill humor bring better stuff at the end. Hope your heart lightens soon.
They came looking for you? That is a scary thought.
Your grandparents were married for 73 years... 73 years...
Thank you all.
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