Feeling the Contour Lines of History
Wherever I walk in England – from London’s event patined streets to Dorset’s fossil rich beaches – I am always connected. On the green lanes and sweep paths of Kent or Sussex, in the woods of Hereford and copses of Essex, I am connected. I can see the shimmering temporal projections mapping past, present and yet to come. I navigate through feeling the contour lines of history.
Atop the remains of the North Thames Cliff still bearing its Ice Age scars or squeezing through the cobbled claustrophobia of a York alleyway, I can pick out ancestral footsteps. They resonate through earth and stone, resonate through myth and folklore to carve out the invisible, underlying topology of place. In England I can always sense the undertow of temporal currents that manifest in the drifting patterns of psychogeographers.
Under railway bridges, on uncared for industrial estate mud or overgrown boneyards, I can always find imaginary fire. There is forever magic I know I will never fully capture with my words. At every crossroads I am but a step away from English Hoodoo. A step away from being in the English Dreaming.
However, all of this is about to become meaningless. The ley lines of my English imagination are about to give way to Australia’s dreaming tracks, it songlines. I am travelling into the Aboriginal sacred landscaped defined by their ‘Footprints of Ancesotrs’, the ‘Way of the Law’. There is no way to escape the fact that in less than two months, I am going to become an alien.
Labels: Australia, English Dreaming, English Hoodoo, Psychogeography
22 Comments:
Safe journey.
But the connection never dies. We carry England in our hearts and she welcomes us when we return.
Puss
Puss – So true and beautifully put. However, to walk in another’s dream is to be alien and I know I will feel that within the shadow of Uluṟu.
I live for the moments of being alien: it's a jolt to all 6 senses and forces me to become more than i am. I always return home full of hope, experience and strength. Meeting new people and seeing new environments feels like an honor, no matter how unsettled i may be at the time.
What does not kill us makes us stronger. I know it's a cliche but it is most certainly true. Embracing the unknown is a tonic for the soul. Do not fret. England will be waiting for you when you return.
GC – You put your finger on most of the reasons I love travelling. I guess this journey just feels more portentous and dislocating because it is preparation for permanent exile from England.
Wonderful post and I do know what you mean, though I have experienced it on a smaller scale, of course. Will you be able to post from OZ?
Happy New Year to you from Sicily.
In Turkey they say that everywhere you are there is a saint buried, it's like you're walking on treasure. You're leaving England for good? Courage, I hope it all goes well.
How sad was this post, David- and I feel sad you are leaving England "for good".
What is the reason?
I am sure you will find wonder in your new surroundings, but I do not know if it will have the same flavor as do your current postings.
Australia, eh...? Hmmm. *strokes beard thoughfully*. Let me know if you don't get my email to Gmail, eh? Oh, and very good luck!
These alien times are good David because they remind us of who we are not and that there is more out there. But home is comfortable and sacred.
I love to leave, but I love coming home even more.
WL - Thank you. Wherever I am, I hope to post, but the title of the blog will probably have to change to Dreaming of England, Dreaming of English Rain.
Mariana – That is a fantastic way of putting it. Nothing is set, but there is a strong possibility that I could end up living in Australia.
GM – The trip is a taste before any large swallowing, but I am also worried about the flavour.
Tim – I will search for that email. I have missed you brother.
Z – I agree about alien times, it is just the prospect of one day not being able to say England is my home that weighs upon my soul.
Your forever magic, rendered meaningless? Fa! Never. You will have new magic, New! It will be born from your sadness, perhaps, but will grow to delight with your new adventures, new magic.
Whether you go or not, you have discovered these feelings--an added dimension to your edge.
New magic--David, please bring us along. We're good listeners, and we'll help you through the rough times.
:-)
oh, sorry you're leaving home. uggh~~i know what THAT'S like. well, hopefully one day you can return. because there is no place like home.
What a beautifully written post.
I left Italy years ago because I felt like an alien there. I don't know what I expected from England: I guess I felt that my passion for its culture, language and traditions would guarantee that I would feel 100% at home here. But I still feel like an alien. Even more so now, having moved from London to this bigoted corner of Kent, where I am described as "She's not English, you know?" by neighbours.
Still, there is some perverse pleasure to be had in being an alien. It's lonely at times, sure, but what a glorious vantage point.
Good luck in Australia!
Nina – Thank you. Wherever I go, I hope that some words and magic will still flow around me.
V – Very true. Unfortunately, when I am in Oz, I will not be able to click my heels and suddenly find myself back on the farm.
Red – Kent… hmmm… Parts of it are wonderful and parts of it are blighted by either bigotry towards the different. There is also the vile nature of the culture of class that thrives in places such as Sevenoaks and Tunbridge Wells. You have my empathy.
It seems I have spent too much of my life being an outsider and using the perspective it gifted as an advantage in my writing. Part of me craves and responds to a little bit of acceptance, a little bit of being at home. I am already so much the alien in some of the worlds I inhabit – the little oik meeting Lords at St James clubs or drinking with MPs at the Strangers’ Bar – I do not want to have that on a much broader scale.
I find it's always wonderful planning a special trip like this, and even more wonderful to return home to all those familiar places you describe so fondly.
Bon Voyage.
David,
The removal from one’s beloved land will only fan the flames of its magic.
Alien life, though awkward and vulnerable, will bring you to a new sense of self. If you allow it. There’s nothing like an inner tug of war to show you what you’re made of.
Warm regards, and thanks for visiting my poetry blog,
August
Wow! Cool. When do you leave? What part of Aus are you going to?
Valium. For the flight. I swear by the stuff. I was given some by my nice dentist for a filling, and now the extras accompany me on long flights. :-)
I'd love to go to Aus, but for that fear of being trapped in a metal tube, hurtling along at 500 miles an hour so high up, for all that time. Urghh.. One day. Unfortunately, the valium only lasts so long.
You're going for good?? Gosh, I have some reading to catch up with, but the sound of it!!
Emigration is an awesome thing, in all senses of the word. There are many times when I've wondered not if I did the right thing, I know I did, but if it will be permanent. After 7 years I still very much miss England, and have cried countless tears for Albion, rather than 'England', but this last few months have finally felt my own profound connection with the spirits of the USA, the real depth of the country, the 'Albion' of what is here. It took a while.
I hope it takes you far less time and testing than that.
That sense of alienation describes life in Canada in a nutshell. In the long sweep of human history, my ancestors only came to this land a very short time ago -- within living memory. I often feel like little more than a visitor here, and an unwanted one at that. The landscapes are beautiful, wild and cold, but inevitably I am struck by a feeling of separation, or even abandonment. Like I don't truly belong here. Perhaps that is why I am selling my house in the spring and moving on.
Alienation is a painful and poignant thing. Like so many of the other commenters here, I have often felt it keenly -- I grew up being time-shared between Greece and England, and as a result, I have never really felt at home anywhere other than my childhood, and a few truly magical locations in the English landscape (like the Rollright Stones, or Dragon Hill at Uffington).
I'm still hopeful of capturing a sense of it somewhere, but that's probably why I've been such a tumbleweed -- Five countries on three continents in the last four years.
Tim - You and I both used to be among the outer circles of The Nomads, yet recently I have found both my England and my city. It seems too short a relationship to lose the strength and joy I now enjoy from those connections.
I always feel alien everywhere I go. 'The sickness of long thinking' I have, and I think you will have too -but you also hold the gift of being a writer, and you'll be able to deal with this sickness.
You know, you should watch the film 'The Proposition': Australia looks beautiful.
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