Searching for ‘Cockney Urine’
Google Analytics remains grand fun. The cryptic messages delivered via may have it stopped after I complained about enigmatic buggering around, but it keeps delivering both insight and amusement. There is something very gratifying about learning the average visitor from Russia spends 14 minutes and 28 seconds reading this blog.
It is also gratifying to see I am regular read by 47 of the 50 States making up the United States. I am not quite sure why the citizens of Idaho, Wyoming and North Dakota are immune to my charms, but I refuse to dwell on the puzzle. Any hint of sadness over this snub is eased by the warm tingle of knowing English Dreaming, English Rain is truly trans-national. With readers drawn from 53 countries, people stopping by from more than a 1,000 locations worldwide, tears over a trio of American laggards would be misplaced.
Among the more interesting searches casting unexpected people upon my shore so far this month are ‘what is a cult author’, ‘reptilians in British soaps’ 'lawyers for Charlie Richardson’ and ‘is Jello Biafra Jewish’. Anyone searching for ‘first class butt fuck’, ‘David Icke representative of God’ or ‘Nigella Lawson porn’ almost certainly went away disappointed. However, I would like to hope those searching for ‘Cockney Urine’, ‘Britannia Inferior’ and ‘Essexmania’ took something of value away with them.
In recent days, eight different visitors arrived at my blog after searching for my ex-fiancée Anne-Marie Forker. I am sure there will have been dissatisfied. There are few mentions in this blog of her photography or her human rights studies. Writing for me is exorcism, so they will probably be a even more disappointed when I eventually get around to using words to externalise the night I suffered a minor stroke and was left on the kitchen floor or the weekend of the dead kittens. At the time I unfairly blamed her for much of what happened. These days, I carry the guilt and blame myself. The wisdom of realising that things only happen to us if we allow them to is hard won. Pain is often the best teacher.
It is also gratifying to see I am regular read by 47 of the 50 States making up the United States. I am not quite sure why the citizens of Idaho, Wyoming and North Dakota are immune to my charms, but I refuse to dwell on the puzzle. Any hint of sadness over this snub is eased by the warm tingle of knowing English Dreaming, English Rain is truly trans-national. With readers drawn from 53 countries, people stopping by from more than a 1,000 locations worldwide, tears over a trio of American laggards would be misplaced.
Among the more interesting searches casting unexpected people upon my shore so far this month are ‘what is a cult author’, ‘reptilians in British soaps’ 'lawyers for Charlie Richardson’ and ‘is Jello Biafra Jewish’. Anyone searching for ‘first class butt fuck’, ‘David Icke representative of God’ or ‘Nigella Lawson porn’ almost certainly went away disappointed. However, I would like to hope those searching for ‘Cockney Urine’, ‘Britannia Inferior’ and ‘Essexmania’ took something of value away with them.
In recent days, eight different visitors arrived at my blog after searching for my ex-fiancée Anne-Marie Forker. I am sure there will have been dissatisfied. There are few mentions in this blog of her photography or her human rights studies. Writing for me is exorcism, so they will probably be a even more disappointed when I eventually get around to using words to externalise the night I suffered a minor stroke and was left on the kitchen floor or the weekend of the dead kittens. At the time I unfairly blamed her for much of what happened. These days, I carry the guilt and blame myself. The wisdom of realising that things only happen to us if we allow them to is hard won. Pain is often the best teacher.
Labels: Cockney urine, David Icke, EDER, Google Analytics
posted by David at 8:57 PM
9 Comments:
i think that is the smartest thing to do...
poeple would do anything to read any thing titeld by:
(first...fu..)
& might not read a word when saw nothing intresting from their point of view!
but still they have been recognized as visitors!
lol...what exactly is "cockney urine" and why is someone searching for it?
Eman – Sometimes I struggle to believe I am writing anything of interest anyone.
Merelyme – Cockney urine is an unpleasant liquid usually splashed over you by an evil cockney. This fate befell me once and I recorded the details of the incident in English Dreaming, English Rain. As to why anyone would actively search for cockney urine is a matter I am not qualified to comment on as you probably need to be a certain type of Mighty Boosh or Noel Fielding obsessive to spend time on the Internet typing in the phrase ’cockney urine.
Wise words and an important truth to own. My last brush with my ex left me disappointed that he still lives in a world of blame, and thus remains a perpetual victim of the manipulations of others. His tragedy is that he cannot see how he tortures himself with this world view.
Goethe wrote 'a man only hears what he understands', and the more we seek to understand, the more truth we are able to hear.
Sounds as if you are healing. Good news.
Puss
Most definitely David. I've found that most people that land on my blog are looking for a site called z thing. I have not gone to see what that's all about.
I don't know about Idaho or North Dakota but Wyoming is a rowdy bunch and I don't think you're missing much there. :)
Z - I will trust your judgement. They probably indulge in pig wrestling in Wyoming anyway.
Thank you to everyone who has expressed views on this post. I have chosen not to publish several comments because English Dreaming, English Rain is not an ‘Annie’ bashing forum.
Pig wrestling for sure. Also lawn mower racing and tractor racing. I think the epitomy of status in Wyoming is to have the ugliest truck and a snowplow to attach to the front. :) Tell you whut!
lol.. rofl at the response to Merelyme..:D
I love how people get to me via Google, but I've never had anything quite that interesting. Best one was '1960's horse porn', or possibly, 'best way to catch genital herpes'. Is there a way that's better than the others? I might have not have had an answer, but thankfully, also not the herpes.
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