Nigella Lawson ... Stepford Wife

Nigella Lawson is scary. Watching her in Nigella Express as she tries to project an aura of intense sexuality in her faux kitchen is liked being flirted with by a Stepford wife. The end result of attempted seduction is not only unsexy, but also unsettling. Every time the camera pulls back from a close-up of her lip licking, I expect to see the body of some poor, eviscerated sap impaled on the wall by one of her carving knives. When she flutters her eyes you cannot help but fear she is all set to go into killer gynoid mode.

Despite this, I have to admit some of her recipes rock. Nigella’s ‘No Worries’ chocolate mousse is genius as is the idea of adding bourbon to her caramel croissant pudding. Tonight Surreal Girl tested out her pea and pesto soup. It was a grand success. If I did not have a couple of cookbooks to keep me busy – including the rather fabulous Madhur Jaffrey's Ultimate Curry Bible – Nigella latest offering might actually tempt me.