Black Dog Growl

It is my understanding that the French do not say ‘I am sad’, but rather ‘A sadness is upon me’. The French have it right. Currently there is sadness upon me. I know it is only multiple clouds of small sorrow combining to feel like a severely bruised sky above, but there is no use denying the weather.

Part of the sadness is due to current gravitational pull of Essex. Tomorrow I have to go back to resolve a raft of Nanna related problems. The prospect of days spent battling with bureaucracy and desperately juggling the finances is fine. Knowing my nights will be spent sleeping on the floor of the council flat my grandparents lived in for 38 years is a black dog growl. A place once filled with the animating love of a couple who had been married for 73 years is now just a claustrophobic concrete shell. After the recent break-in at the place by people looking for me, I have additional reasons to feel uncomfortable.